After the half-marathon that I ran on October 16th, I decided to take a couple of weeks off from running. It's usually a good idea to give your body a little time to recover from a long training session and challenging race. Plus, we had family visiting for a week and I've been pretty busy at work... so this seemed like a good time for a break.
Looking back at the race, I am pretty pleased with how I ran it. The pace that I maintained throughout the race was better that I anticipated, and I didn't wear myself out before hitting those last few miles, so I was able to maintain a strong pace throughout. That's an improvement over other recent races. I've been running races for several years now, and I have the results of all my races (at least the major ones) saved so that I can compare back to how I have done in the past. I have actually run 8 half marathons up to this point, and while this last Half Marathon was my best one in the last 5 years, I can't help but compare my current performance to how I used to run years ago. The very first Half Marathon that I ran was in March 2003. That was actually my second-ever race. In that race, I ran an average pace of 08:11 per mile. One year after that, in March 2004, I logged my Half Marathon personal record (PR). In that race, I averaged 07:37 per mile. Now, those aren't incredibly amazing times... but they are pretty amazing for me.
Back in those days, my life wasn't as full and complicated as it is now. My children were both young, I didn't own a house, I wasn't involved in church leadership, and my job wasn't nearly as challenging. I had alot more time to invest in running. Because I was able to give myself more fully to running, I was a much better runner. Well... needless to say, times have changed. My priorities have changed. I can no longer justify giving 2-3 hours, 5-6 times a week to running. Because running is no longer worthy of such devotion, my performance has taken a bit of a hit.
Looking back like that is a bit sobering. I know the type of runner I can be if I am devoted. And I can honestly say that back in 2004 (when I hit that PR), even then, I wasn't running at the top of my potential. It would be easy for me to live in the "glory" of those "high-performance" years and consider myself to be a pretty good runner... but when I look at my past times, and then look at how I struggle just to maintain an 08:00 per mile pace now, I can't ignore the truth: I am not the runner that I once was.
Honestly, letting my running performance slip is perfectly fine with me. Running, while a worthwhile earthly endeavor, does not have eternal significance. Running does help me stay healthy and stave off chronic deaseases like diabetes, high cholesterol and heart disease. However, once I have departed this earthly life, none of that will matter. Therefore, while running has a place in my life (I call it good stewardship of my body), it does not have a prominent place.
One area of my life that does have eternal significance is my discipleship of and devotion to Jesus. Just like it can be easy for me to live in glory of running years past, it can also be easy for me to live in how I used to walk with Jesus and totally ignore how I walk with Him now. A few weeks ago, I mentioned that our church was taking on a 52 day challenge. That 52 day challenge incorporates 4 key areas of life with Jesus: Prayer, Discipleship, Evangelism and Giving. Recently, my pastor mentioned that for many of us, the 52 Day Challenge is all about us remembering from where we have fallen, and getting back to that place. That is definitely true of me. It is interesting and challenging to me to see the correlation between my running and my Spiritual walk. The time when I was running my best was also one of my most effective times with the Lord. Back then, I was giving large blocks of time to prayer and diving in deep into study of the Bible. I remember my daily devotional times taking 1-2 hours a day, just for reading and journaling all the things that I was discovering in my studies... then I would spend at least 45 minutes a day in prayer and worship as I drove to work. But over the years, my life has gotten fuller... more complicated... more things are competing for my time, and I find it difficult to find consistent blocks of time in my day to devote to the 4 areas of our challenge. A challenge this has been to me, indeed.
It's interesting to see the context of the scripture reference that I quoted above. The quote is actually Jesus speaking to the church in Ephesus - the church that Paul wrote the book of Ephesians to... a very healthy church... but listen to what Jesus said to them:
"I know your works, your labor, your patience, and that you cannot bear those who are evil. And you have tested those who say they are apostles and are not, and have found them liars; and you have persevered and have patience, and have labored for My name’s sake and have not become weary. Nevertheless I have this against you, that you have left your first love. Remember therefore from where you have fallen; repent and do the first works, or else I will come to you quickly and remove your lampstand from its place—unless you repent." Revelation 2:2-5Basically Jesus was saying, I see all the good stuff that you have been doing for Me, and how you have continued to stick with it through the years and remained consistently faithful... but while you are doing things for Me, you have stopped walking with Me... you are no longer devoted to Me, you are just doing things out of duty. That is the story of my life. I am really good at being faithful and consistent and persevering through all kinds of stuff, but how easy it is to move from devotion to duty.
It would be easy for me to live in the past and consider myself to be a devoted disciple... but I can't ignore the present. I can't ignore how difficult it is for me to even find 30 minutes to spend in prayer and study of the word... I can't ignore how difficult it is to find opportunities to share with people the hope and good news that I have. As I remember, I have to confess that I am guilty of the same things the Ephesians were guilty of. But thankfully, it doesn't end at my guilt. Thankfully the God that I serve is a merciful and gracious God. In fact, I read this just this morning:
In the midst of lamenting over the horrible state that Israel was in because of its repeated failure to walk in the ways of God, Jeremiah was still able to write about the hope that he had for his nation. In the Bible that I read, this commentary was written about the mercy of God:"Through the LORD’s mercies we are not consumed, Because His compassions fail not. They are new every morning; Great is Your faithfulness." Lamentations 3:22-23
"God's mercy is His compassion toward us even when we deserve punishment, His commitment to restore us even though we deserve to endure the consequences of our sin, and His covenant of love expressed at the point of our greatest foolishness." - Steven FrySo thanks be to God that there is still hope for me... and there is still hope for you as well. No matter the state you find yourself in, God's compassions do not fail... and His mercy is new every morning. All I have to do, and all you have to do is follow the instructions that Jesus gave to the church in Ephesus: "Remember therefore from where you have fallen; repent and do the first works..." And to top it all off, God will even give us the ability to repent if we truly desire it.
Thank You God for Your mercy! Thank You that you give me the ability to remember! Thank You that You give me the opportunity and the ability to repent (turn things around) and head back in the right direction with You... not just doing things for You.
Let's run the Race... but let's run it with our First Love... let's lay aside all the weights that hold us back and keep our eyes ever fixed on and our hearts ever devoted to Jesus!